Help Me to Trust You

Help me to trust You!

 

My plea came out of hurt.  My plea came out of painful trials.  I reacted in the trial as an indignant, spoiled child.  It was hard and I didn’t think I deserved it.  I searched why I was so hurt, why I was so afraid.  I wasn’t trusting Him in this kind of hardship. 

 

I asked Him to prove Himself, to show me that I can trust Him.  In a way it was manipulative and angry, coming out of hurting and fear.  I wanted Him to show me He was good.  That I could trust.  I expected Him to remove the pain and hardship and give me security in the way I wanted to see it.  

 

He did begin to do the things I had hoped for.  He showed mercy.  Mercy in His grace because what I was asking for came out of my motives of self gratification and earthly security.  And even in that place of asking, He was answering me. I couldn’t reflect on this or even recognize it until He showed me the other...

 

As I listened to a song, the realization of God becoming man from His great holiness to someone like me in great lowliness was never more real.  I closed my eyes and sensed deep within me His transition from the breath of Creator to the breath of a babe.  His beauty and might to something so fragile and meek.  I felt His descent into flesh.  It was as though I was there amidst His Spirit’s transition.  It was so real.  I felt all the universe watching with me in darkened, reverent silence.

 

Then, I saw Him.  He was on the cross.  His head crowned in thorns and hanging down.    He slowly lifted and turned His head and  looked up at me with His blood wet face and eyes filled with love and longing.  He looked right into my eyes as if saying, “For you,” and then slowly lowered his head again.  

 

I cried like I never had before.

 

It is everything.  It is what He did, truly what He has done that is my place of trust.  There is no greater love than that.  No greater desire for my well-being than that act of incredible love.  That is the place of my trust.  That is it, in its purest form.  No act can compare to that kind of faithfulness and love.  Yet, He was showing me mercy even in my original heart of selfish fear to prove I could trust Him by doing some of the things I wanted.  

 

The comparison of that kind of humble love and mercy even to satisfy my selfish want reaches me to a depth within that I had not known went so deep.  Deeper than my person, His mercy and love is made known.  In an imperfect, self-centered request, as my mistrust were thorns upon His head, He fulfilled answering my desires and in His loveliness, He showed me the ultimate depth of His love to mine.

 

Who is this LORD that we were made for such love?  One Who walks with us, carries us and selflessly shows one so weak how strong He is. By His Love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8   Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Philippians 2:5-8   Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.  

Soul Food For Your Prayer Life

 

 

Sometimes one person can say something that changes the way you do life.  Just over twenty years ago, one of those times happened.  A young mom shared a story.  Her daughter had nearly drowned and was in route by ambulance to a hospital.  She talked about how in the past, whenever she would see ambulances, she always said a prayer for the people needing them and for the workers on them.  Her thought of how she prayed for ambulances brought her comfort as she believed others were praying for her little girl now in one herself.  She held to those thoughts and comfort and hope.  Her daughter was fully revived and did not suffer any losses.

 

This was a new beginning for me.  I had never thought to say a prayer in those cases.  I began to.  I prayed for police.  I would pray for those in a hospital that I drove past. Then I took it further to other places, situations and people.  I especially prayed for kids that were in the school I passed or for kids playing, walking or biking down a side walk. 

   

One time in particular, I saw a little boy standing on a street corner by a main road.  His mom was taking a picture of him.  It looked like he may have been at a bus stop.  He was dressed up like one of the characters from The Blues Brothers and he resembled Jake, John Belushi’s character. He was a little shorter and rounder.  He wore a hat and sunglasses and he held a saxophone.  I prayed for him.

 

As I prayed in the Spirit the prayer became stronger than I had any mind for as I continued driving down the road.   I was surprised by the intensity of the prayer and I wondered why I cared so much for this little boy as I drove down the street on my way to work.  Sometimes God would move like that as I prayed for people.

 

My Mom told me she always prayed for people in airplanes when she would see one.  She thought of people going to see a sick relative or going to a funeral, for people on business or on vacation.  She lived near an airport so she was busy.

 

 Praying for strangers began to be a part of my every day.

 

When our daughter was in her late teens she started dating a boy.  They both were on the school swim teams.  He didn’t share the same faith as she did, but she told him that if he wanted to date her, he had to go to church with her.  He agreed.  He was interested in her enough to make the effort.

 

He was a gifted musician and enjoyed the music at the church.  During one of the songs, he was moved.  The words, “LORD, reign in me” became his heart’s request.  He came to Christ in that moment and through the music.  Later, he would play with our worship team.

 

After they had been dating for a while they started to talk about when they were kids.  They both had said they were shorter than most of the other kids back then and slightly over-weight.  It was hard to believe.  They were both now thin and he was super tall.  They each went and located their pictures from that time and were looking through them.  She was laughing and said, “Mom, you have to see these.”

 

I went through his stack of photos and there he was.  There was the photo of the little boy I had driven by years before dressed as a Blues Brother holding his saxophone.   He was standing at the street sign that I remembered having been driving by.   I was astonished!  I had prayed for him!  God had a plan on his life and I got to be a part of a moment in time to pray along and over this child that the LORD loved so much.

 

One moment given.

 

One moment partnered with God can change lives.

  

 It changed my life in a way of faith and purpose.  

 

As they got older they no longer dated, but he continued to attend the church.  As a young man, he got up and shared his testimony of how he came to Jesus during one of the worship songs.  He even has a tattoo that says, “Lord, reign in me” with a cross.  His gift of music and his saxophone has blessed that church many times and later he married a woman that had attended that church, too.

 

The blessing of God letting me see a result of a prayer for a stranger has impacted me for the rest of my life.  I know the prayers are heard.  I know He loves all of those we see and come across.  Your place, your timing, and the people around you have purpose.  

 

 Live in your purpose.  Live in love.

 

I shared this story with a group of women five years ago.  As I shared, one woman in particular gasped.  She was back in the states on a missionary furlough.  She was obviously moved by the story.  Just two weeks ago, on another furlough from their work in Sri Lanka, her husband approached me.  He told me that he shares that story I told of one prayer to everyone he gets to meet in Sri Lanka.  

 

One prayer.

One story.

 

You matter.  Your prayers matter.  Your words matter.  Your life has the ability for great purpose. God hears and He moves.  Be encouraged today that you and your prayers matter.  Believe.  There is hope. 

 

 Romans 5:5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.



Where Did This Come From?

                                                           
                                                     Where did this come from?


I wish I could hear your thoughts right now.  Some of you know we have a young son and you may be thinking he made it.  Maybe one of our daughters made it when they were little. Some of you know I worked in an Elementary School on a grant project and it could be one of my student’s work.

Maybe some of you think I made it. 

Did any of you think it came together randomly on its own?

It’s simple. 

It’s mostly two dimensional.  

It is only made out of a few materials.

It doesn’t even breathe.

Why do we believe it was intentionally made by someone and it didn’t evolve from say…a tree?  I’m sure not one of you thought it randomly came together on its own.  Your critical thinking skills won’t lead you there.  Neither will your reason.

It’s made in the image of something.  It’s made in the image of someone with much more ability than it.

So why do we teach our children when they are in school, who are complex, have great value and are wondrously made, that they just randomly came together?

Why is it hard for some to believe that we are made in the image of someone with much more ability than us?

Children are natural receptors to their spirituality.  We come wired for it.  But, why are we allowing their switch to be turned off in school?  Why isn’t that part of Design or spirituality allowed in critical thinking in school?

During my time with higher level learning first grade students, I heard multiple conversations and comments made by the students.  Their youthful spirits had not yet been squelched.  They weren’t tall enough to reach the switch, so to speak, to turn it off.  Kids say what's on their mind and they believe. They trust.  Often times, as adults, we are delighted by their thoughts and freedom of expression.

Some of the things I witnessed followed a poem that we read written by Julia Carney 1823- 1902, called, “Little Things.”  It ended with the words, “of eternity.” One of the children quickly said, “That’s God.”  There was no hesitation on his part to hold that in.  It was where his mind went.  The same poem was read by two more groups and each group had a child that responded in the same way.  In looking up the poem now, I just discovered that there were two more stanzas that were not a part of the curriculum that I was given to teach.  It reads on in a way that clearly is based on faith in God. The children perceived this.  Here is the poem in its entirety.

Little Things

Little drops of water,
Little grains of sand,
Make the mighty ocean
And the pleasant land.

And the little moments,
Humble though they be,
Make the mighty ages
Of eternity.

So our little errors
Lead the soul away,
From the paths of virtue
Into sin to stray.

Little deeds of kindness,
Little words of love,
Make our earth an Eden,
Like the heaven above.

A considerable conversation started between the students following the reading of the ending of The Polar Express.  The characters in the story could only hear the bell ring if they “Believe.” Again, the students began sharing their faith with one another.  One child did not believe and stated in an angry voice, “If there is a God, then God is mean.  Look at all the terrible stuff. There is no God.”  Other children argued back and said there is.  The child again retorted the negative description and one of the children looked at me with upset on his face and said, “That is so mean to say!”   I did have to step into the verbal fight and asked that they speak respectfully to each other and not yell.

There is a depth of belief in these young people.  From my experience, the large majority believed in God. Why then, if it is a minority that doesn’t, that both parts are not allowed to be considered and taught?  Why are children that live spiritually, denied the ability to think spiritually?

 Another child was commenting about his ancestors’ homeland and said, “God lives there.”  Another child quickly followed up and said, “God lives everywhere, but not the devil.”  The quieter children nodded their head in agreement.

 In another situation, a group of students played “Catholic.”  They did this completely on their own and I saw no stimulation that led up to it as each pretended to be a person of the Catholic Church.  I was surprised by this play. One was a priest, another, a Bishop, another, a Cardinal and the other and more dominating child, (who had previously said there was no God) played Pope.  They set up a hierarchy of position and then related to each other based on it.  The priest was not allowed to speak directly to the Pope and the Priest was told he could only talk to “the people.”  

Sometimes children shared with me their Festivals they just celebrated and talked about the foods that they ate as part of their faith celebration.  They live it.  They shared their lives with me.  Why can’t they live it freely longer?  Who turns off the switch?  When does it get turned off?

My teaching situation was in a public school.  Our work time was relaxed and with smaller groups of students, usually seven or less.  There was more time for them to have conversations with each other as they colored or worked on projects or discussed poetry or literature.  They had freedom to speak.

Today I read and saw on Life and Liberty,  a man that puts critical thinking into practice regarding Evolution and God as he interviews people that believe in Evolution.  Some of the points at the beginning could have been made in a shorter amount of time. But, it is worth watching those that do think, start to think in a way they had never been taught until then. 

Genesis 5:1b-2 ESV  When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. 2 Male and female he created them, and he blessed them and named them Man when they were created.

 Matthew 19:14 NIV  Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

 

Kiss

 

Let the thought of a kiss come to mind.  Think of giving one.  Think of receiving one. Think of someone that gave you a safe place or you gave a safe place in a kiss. As a child, as a parent, as a friend, as a family member, and to one you love; it happens in relationship.

 When you approach someone to kiss them, you are letting go of anything between you.  You come so close that you are vulnerable.  You trust in a relationship that will receive a gesture so near that you can breathe them in.  You probably remember the fragrance of those you love and care for because of how near you have been to them.   Producing a kiss to give to another is a pouring out of yourself.  It can be an expression of caring or protection, affection, comfort, assurance and a seal of how you feel about them or honor them.  You care.  You are there…and they matter.  

 When you receive a kiss you have allowed someone to draw near and offer themselves to you.  You allow yourself to be vulnerable to them as they have become vulnerable to you.  You allow them to connect to you; the breath and fragrance of their life near your own.

 A handshake is a connection literally at arms-length.

 But, the kiss is a place of great trust, vulnerability, relationship and grace. 

 It is a place of refuge…a place of peace.

 

Psalm 2 is filled with words that speak in advance about Jesus, the Son, and at the end of the chapter, a kiss.

 Psalm 2:12 ESV  Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and you perish in the way,

for his wrath is quickly kindled. Blessed are all who take refuge in him.

 In the near relationship of the Son is the place of safety and peace.  The LORD is saying to “Kiss the Son.”

 

There is blessing there! In the nearness of a kiss there is refuge.  We are given permission in a direction to approach Him and to bring ourselves in such vulnerability to place a kiss upon Him.  We are not harmed in kissing Him, but instead given security and acceptance as we come near enough in affection to offer a kiss.  It is a place of love.

 When we distance ourselves from Him we are in the places of our own making or way that fails.  We perish in the way. We aren’t at peace no matter what we have tried.  When we finally realize this, that is when most of us turn to Him.  He always receives us.  He always makes Himself open for a kiss.  That is grace.  That is love.

The deepest betrayal to Jesus came by way of Judas.  Judas is described as, “one of the Twelve.”  These were those who were closest to Jesus.  They traveled with Him, ate with Him, slept near Him and served with Him.  They were the most privileged of all and He was nearest to them.  

 

Luke 2:47-48 NIV  While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, 48but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”

 Let that verse reach the fullness of understanding of the betrayal.  This was the way that Judas revealed who Jesus was to the high priests who were taking Him away to be crucified.

Judas was taking what God had given as a command for refuge and security, grace and peace to be used against the very One Who provides it.  It is staggering.  

 
Luke 22:49 NIV When Jesus’ followers saw what was going to happen, they said, “Lord, should we strike with our swords?” 50And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.

 
51But Jesus answered, “No more of this!” And he touched the man’s ear and healed him.

52Then Jesus said to the chief priests, the officers of the temple guard, and the elders, who had come for him, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come with swords and clubs? 53Every day I was with you in the temple courts, and you did not lay a hand on me. But this is your hour—when darkness reigns.”

In that time the others wanted to defend Jesus, but being Who He is, the place of refuge, He healed the one that was injured and said, “No more of this!”  He spoke against the place of fighting, betrayal, lies and animosity and He placed the wickedness to when, who and where they belong to …

  “when darkness reigns.”
 
Notice Jesus.  Notice His healing.  Notice His refuge.  Notice His grace.  Notice His Truth. Notice His peace.  Notice His love and forgiveness.
 
Yes, kiss the Son.  Kiss Him for all that He is for you.

God speaks about the ones that did not kiss Baal.  Baal is a pagan god and the name is also used in way of an idol.

 1 Kings 19:18  Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel --all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him."

These seven thousand were kept well and remained in Israel. These are the ones that have not gone so far as to find their security someplace else in an idol, or given their affection  or made themselves vulnerable. By not bowing their knees, they stayed strong standing up against Baal.  The kiss means a lot.

 We aren’t done kissing. 

As Christians, the Bible says to, “greet each other with a holy kiss.”   This is a gesture that does not allow anything to come between each other.  There is vulnerability, trust, caring, security, and peace. Forgiveness and grace are present.

In fact, it says it in MANY places to greet each other in Christ with a holy kiss.

•   Romans 16:16
• 1 Corinthians 16:20
• 2 Corinthians 13:12

A kiss that is holy is holy in Christ.

It is the purity of love, forgiveness and grace.

It is the heart of the message of grace.

Animosity aside is the peace within for a brother.

This is the message of the kiss.

 1 Peter 5:14  Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace be to you all who are in Christ.

 

Launched and Waiting

                                                      Photo courtesy of James N. Brown

That new day of living in the power of the LORD can be a lot like a rocket launch. Or, maybe it was a revelation and a start of a project that launched you.  Maybe it was the first encounter with the power of His Spirit and you started doing things only God could do through you.  Maybe it was a “Call.”

It’s a place of exhilaration. The launch pad, the vast acceleration, the g-force that is impossible to move out from under the weight of His presence… and you don’t want to.  Then suddenly, you reach out away from the gravitational pull.  The speed isn’t noticed or are you still moving? Are you still in motion or floating?  It’s quieter. It seems still.  There’s peace, but it’s different.

It’s the quiet, the waiting, the not quite there yet, but you definitely aren’t where you were.

I’ve found myself there.  It isn’t a lack of doing. No, it is taking the better part of my faith and strength and effort to wait. 

Trusting that I am on my way to where this launch is taking me. 

Trusting that the Power that launched me has a flight plan.

If I start pressing the buttons to make something happen out of order, it may mess things up a bit.

Sara decided to do a little button pushing of her own.  She was promised that Abraham would be the Father of many nations and instead of waiting, she tried to make it happen. She didn’t believe the Promise that she would conceive, but believed there would be many nations. She set up Hagar for Abraham and Ishmael was made.  Not long after, her own Isaac came along.  The Promise did come.  What if she had waited?  What if we stopped doubting what God said about us and really waited?

 Waiting is sometimes the most grueling of all exercises.

Actively waiting.  I’m watching our daughter nearing her sixth month of pregnancy.  She’s used to making things happen and she makes things happen fast.  Here she is. Waiting.  She has no control over the wait time. It’s hard.  A friend of hers told her that it seems like it is going to take forever, then suddenly, you’re six months along and you realize there isn’t much time left and you start to panic wishing there was more time.  There is expectancy with waiting. 

As her child rapidly developed and cells multiplied, body parts formed, systems began; the child became fully formed in a short amount of time.  But now, the child waits growing stronger, bigger and strengthening lungs, kidneys, muscles and more so that it is strong enough to live life outside of his mother.

I’m finding this in the waiting for Promises to be fulfilled, the new life and His will.

In the quiet, the waiting is a place of growing, strengthening, learning and maturing.

Finding contentment in the waiting is key.  Finding the good, the peace, His presence in the quiet is also part of the experience. It is active faith.

It isn’t unusual.  It happens much more than we have noticed.  Jesus’ big launch came with the fanfare of angels singing and Wise Men tracking Him down and giving Him gifts.  Then came tension and they fled to Egypt and then… it went quiet.  The next time we hear about Jesus is when he is a boy and He is learning and talking with the Teacher’s in the temple and even quietly unnoticed by His parents until three days later they realized that they had left Him behind.  Then, it is quiet again, until His baptism at the Jordan River.  We don’t know what all happened in His quiet, but we know He grew and learned.

David was anointed future King of Israel as a child.  It was years later before he became King.  He grew, matured and his faith strengthened.  John the Baptist spent his quiet in the wilderness.  All we know about that time is his poor wardrobe selection and cuisine. (camel hair and locusts) Until the day came when he began preparing the way for the LORD through baptism and Jesus later saying that there had been none greater than John the Baptist up until that time. 

I have experienced my own frustration in the time it takes for God’s time, but I see how much growing I am doing as He turns over every rock and finds a little more that I need to have Him improve on in me.  I learn.  I mature and I am strengthened.

Having listened to many Bible teachers, often their stories go back to that frustrating place of knowing they were “Called” to something, but tried to make it happen their way and it turned out outlandishly embarrassing or frustratingly slow with just a few people to teach.  There are others that expected their new faith to give them an instant “everything is going to be great” ticket.  We have learning, we have growing, we have maturing and strengthening to do.  I find myself most inspired by those that go through hardships, but hold fast to their faith and joy.  Those are the lives that impact me.

If we are honest about it, the learning isn’t always pretty.  I have found lows that I sunk to and needed His forgiveness and that are too embarrassing to confess to here.  I have been grumpy and pouty.  I have been scared or worried.  Those were the behaviors I needed maturing in and still at times need maturing in.  The more that I go through, the quicker I come out of it.

 I am learning His faithfulness while learning to be faith-filled.

What is working is that I have been purposely looking to God. “Starting with His majesty,” a friend recommended to me.    It’s learning to praise and thank Him more instead of pray my lists as often, worship more instead of worry, love more instead of lament, relax more and rest.  There is more of a smile now.  I’m not pressing my nose against the glass saying, “Are we there yet?” nearly as often.  I’m learning how to wait.   

Isaiah 40:31 KJV But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. 

 

God gives and builds strength and endurance in us in the waiting on Him.  His peace is renewing, His goodness is grace and His love comforts and gives hope.

One of my favorite great waits is found in Acts 1 and 2 as Jesus told them to wait for what the Father had promised.

Acts 1:4 Gathering them together, He commanded them not to leave Jerusalem, but to wait for what the Father had promised, "Which," He said, "you heard of from Me; 5for John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now."  ESV

Luke 24:9 I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high." ESV

It reads in Acts that as they waited, they gathered together and prayed together, women and men and it says, “they were one accord.”  They were in agreement and expectancy. They were waiting on a Promise.  Jesus didn’t want them out trying to begin the ministry of The Good News, His Kingdom come, until they had waited and been strengthened and given the power of His Spirit. Because they waited, they were “clothed in power.”  Their ministry took off and Christianity began to reach the ends of the earth.

Settling in and getting comfortable.  Enjoying where I am and knowing I’m growing.  It’s still work, don’t get me wrong.  Waiting is working.  My hope is that I can look back fondly at the times of faithful waiting and know that I enjoyed that time, too.  All of it is part of the journey.  It builds faith.

It makes one look straight into the face of the Promise Maker and trust.

In the waiting is the receiving.

In the waiting is a receiving of great power and strength.

 

Even as the fish made their great escape at the end of the Disney movie, Finding Nemo, they got to where they wanted to be, but it wasn’t quite as they’d imagined. They still weren’t completely done.  My favorite line from the movie…

 

 

Keep holding to your faith.  Keep waiting as you have been told. Growing, maturing, strengthening and if you are told to, “Go” then, “Go.”